So Long and Goodnight
by leffsam
Summary: AH E/B Edward and Bella were best friends for as long as they could remember, when Bella breaks down, will Edward be there, or is he as troubled as she is? Lemons Language and Future Drug Content.


**A/N- Hello little Pervlings. This is my first GOOD fanfiction on this account, and I'm hoping that you like it. Put a few days into this, for the record, and hopefully, if you guys like it, I'll keep on truckin' and add a few more chapters. Keep in mind I originally wrote this about myself and someone else, and then changed the names to Edward and Bella, so if there are any problems or factual difficulties, just tell me and I'll tend to it. Also, there's no real beginning to this story because I had to get rid of the beginning to make it less obvious that this wasn't originally about Edward and Bella. Anyway, don't get turned off by that, just keep on reading and you'll get the idea. This is a bit more than 10,000 words including authors notes and all of that shit, so take your time, maybe go to a different site and then come back, because I want you to take your time to absorb everything that's a'goin on in this story. So, have a nice time, my little darlings.**

**-S**

I'm in my car and driving and I don't know where I'm going so I just keep moving and hope for the best. I'm zooming down the highway and I'm so scared. My hands are shaking. I need a cigarette, I need a cigarette. I rifle through my purse for the pack and screech when it's not there. I finished it… yesterday… at like 2 am. I don't have any more cash. Shit. I'm shaking even worse now and I need a fix. I need a cigarette.

I'm driving to Seattle. I'm driving to Edward. I don't know how I got to his apartment but I did and everything else is a blur. I pull up front and run to the door. I buzz him and he lets me up. I haven't seen him in what feels like years. I'm scared of how he is.

I run up the steps with tears running down my eyes and he's there in his doorway with his arms spread out. He's waiting for me. He's waiting for me to come home and I do and I'm in his arms and I'm so scared. By now I'm violently shaking and he pulls me into his apartment which is no surprise, a dump. Sheet music litters the floor and food is spread out all over the kitchen counters. Energy drink cans are all over the place and I can tell he's been smoking by the heavy cloud of cigarette smoke hovering over the dirty apartment. He drags me into his bedroom and throws me down on the bed, crashing down next to me with a thud. I look over at him in fear, tears still streaming down my face.

"Bella." He whispers. He's so beautiful I can't speak. He has 5 o'clock shadow and is working on a beard. I smile at him and stroke his cheek, all the while crying my eyes out. He's so pretty and my chest heaves.

"E." I murmur, eyes hooded. He runs his hand through my hair and wraps an arm around me, as if he's trying to keep me from running away. He knows that I would never, though. "I need a cigarette." He bolts up at that and just stares at me.

"Why are you smoking again?" he looks at me with sheer anger on his face. He didn't like that I smoked because I reminded him of himself and he was so scared of himself. Apparently he still is. I shrug my shoulders and hold out my hand, motioning for him to give it to me. He shakes his head and lies back down.

"Edward, give me the damn cigarette." I stare at him with disbelief in my eyes. "I need it." He shakes his head. I started smoking around 15. Edward was 18 then and he hated me for it. He hated when I would wake up in the morning smelling like daisies, and then wander outside and smoke and smell like shit afterwards. He hated that. He said I tainted everything.

Christmas of 2013 I didn't come home and that was the first time I saw Edward cry. When I wandered through the door, hung over as hell, on Christmas morning and disappointed my whole family. He broke into sobs and I just stood there feeling sorry for myself, eyes stained red and hands shaking. My mom put me into rehab. I don't know why. I never got high, I just got drunk. I didn't have an addiction. I swear I didn't.

2014 our parents stopped talking. I went mad. Edward was gone. Edward was never around. Edward would never be around. I went insane and I tore everything that I loved apart. Every relationship was shit in my eyes. Every memento was garbage and it was all thrown out. I lived in my bed and never came out.

Edward's eyes are red when he finally looks at me again. "If you're living here, you're never smoking again." I look at him in confusion.

"When did I say I was living here?" I mutter. He rolls his eyes.

"You know that you were going to ask." I nod and wrap my arms around myself.

"You smoke." I say, anger now pulsing through my veins. He nods and pulls the blankets and sheets over himself and closes his eyes. "Are you going to sleep?"

"Yes. I smoke and I _am_ going to sleep. You however, are never going to smoke again, and you can go to sleep with me if you'd like." He chuckles under his breath and drifts off. I take off my jacket and slip into bed with Edward. He turns over and wraps his arms around me, smiling.

It's been so long and his arms feel so good around me. I'm turning 18 soon. That's when I promised my mom I would save my virginity until. I want him so bad and I press my chest against his. He leans down and presses his lips against mine finally and I moan into his mouth. We fall asleep and I've never been so fucking happy to not be home.

I wake up in the morning feeling like shit. I roll over and see Edward and suddenly my day is a little bit brighter. I hop up and go to the kitchen to see if Edward has any coffee for me to make. I find the coffee in the freezer and I hastily put too much into the coffee maker because both Edward and I like our coffee strong. I make eggs too and set the table with Edward's crappy silverware and dishes. He comes out of the bedroom about 20 minutes later with a sneer upon his face. Then he sees me and his whole face lights up.

"You didn't leave!" he exclaims, clapping his hands like a little kid.

"Why would I leave?" I chuckle. Edward eyes the coffee and eggs and sits down at the table. I sit with him and just look at him for a while, while he eats. He eyes me weird and I grin.

"Why are you staring at me?" he asks, biting his lip afterward.

"Do you like the breakfast?" I smile wide. He nods and keeps eating. I'm not hungry at all, but I sip my coffee every so often. "Edward…?"

"Bella..?" We start at the same time but don't laugh like in those cheesy movies. I start.

"Do you _want_ me to live here?" I play with my napkin, poking holes in it with my fingers. He nods and goes on to ask his question,

"Do you _want_ to live here?" he cocks an eyebrow. I nod too and ask another question,

"Why do you want me here?" he ponders that for a second, then answers the question.

"Because I care about you and I want to make sure you're safe." He taps his chin, "Plus you make amazing eggs and I'm looking forward to eating them every day." He eats more of his breakfast and moans in delight. I feel myself getting turned on so I change the subject. That's nothing I want to deal with right now. I'm certain he doesn't want to have sex.

"Are you going to have women here?" he stares at me in disbelief and just shakes his head. I wave for him to go on. I'm confused about his expression.

"Why would I have women over if I have you?" he cocks an eyebrow and squints at me. "You're almost eighteen. Don't think I forgot about your little promise to your mom." I shrug and look pointedly at him.

"You want me?" I ask. I'm really confused now. How could someone like… _him_… want someone like _me?_ He looks at me like I'm crazy as he shovels more eggs into his mouth.

"Who wouldn't?" he says through a mouthful.

I scoff, "I don't know… _anyone_. Fucking Jesus, Edward, I'm not sexy or any shit like that." Eggs fall out of his mouth. I gag, "Fucking gross, E."

"You're not _sexy_, Miss Tits?" I squint at him.

"Did you just call me Miss Tits?" He nods and motions to my chest.

He points at my face, "Miss," then down at my boobs, "Tits." He concludes with a satisfied smile.

He's a pig, but I love him so it's okay. I giggle a little and so does he. "I'm going to work today, by the way." He mentions suddenly.

"Work?" he never told me he had a job. "You have a job? Where? When did you get it? What do you do?" he chuckles.

"Yes, I have a job. Here. I got it a few days ago. I write songs for the band I'm in." He answers all my questions. I clap for him and he bows like the maestro he is. Edward has always been musical, ever since I met him. He was all pianistic and pretty-song-playing and Beethoven-y. I was the Kim to his Matt, the Shannon to his George, the Cher to his Sonny. Or just some female musician to his male musician.

"Your birthday is really soon." He notes again. I nod and play with my fingers. I'm turning 18. I'm going to be an adult. I can finally have _sex_. "Excited?" I nod once again and he looks at me uncomfortably. "After not seeing you for so long we don't have much to say, huh?"

"Edward, I haven't really done shit since you left." I pick at my cuticles and sniff. Allergies are coming at full force this fall. "You know, with the whole, not being able to see the one person you care most about all the time?" Edward cocks an eyebrow,

"You could have visited me any time."

There's a problem with that. I couldn't have. I didn't have a car. I had no friends with a car. I don't think 'I want to see Edward' would go over so well in a conversation with my mother. I don't say any of that. I just shrug. Edward is getting up from the table and I get up too. "I'm going to work." He mutters.

"What am I supposed to do?" I stare down at my feet. He points at the computer, then at the upright piano, then at the bedroom. I walk to the bedroom and sit down, looking around Edward's quaint little living space. There are scratches on his headboard. He definitely has a few notches in his bedpost and I'm worried about that. I get up and start rifling through his drawers, in typical girlfriend fashion. Girlfriend… I wipe my bangs away from my eyes; I'm getting ahead of myself. I go through his clothes; they're very 'Edward'. Skateboarding shirts, hoodies. He hasn't grown up much. There are at least three boxes of condoms in his drawers, and two vibrators. I pick one up and then drop it instinctively. He's probably used it on tons of women. There are a few CDs, labeled with different names, and my interest level spikes up when I see one with mine.

Curious out of my mind, I pull out my laptop and put the CD in. Suddenly my ears are flooded with beautiful piano music and I can tell Edward played this. He puts his own little twang into his music, and I can hear it in each and every note. At the end he whispers, "Miss you, Bella." And my heart does a little leap. All of a sudden I hear the keys crash down on the piano in the other room and I bolt from my seat on the bed, almost sprinting to the other room where Edward is throwing things around.

"Edward! Edward, what the hell are you doing?" His eyes are wild and he keeps throwing balled up papers around the room. At some point one of the electric pianos end up on the floor and that was where I drew the line. I stomp over to him and grab his arms, trying to stop him from grabbing anything else and he breaks out in sobs. "E… E do you hear me at all?"

He looks up at me and his eyes are dark black. I hold a gasp in, and stare after him as he starts picking up the papers from the floor. I start helping him pick shit up and eventually we're sitting on the piano bench. "E, what the hell just happened?"

He clenches his fists. "Sometimes I… go on little parades of insanity. I throw things around and scream and cry and because no one's here there's no one to stop me and I hurt myself." He looks up at me. "But you're here now, Bella. Can I trust you to take care of me when I do this?"

My eyes widen and I nod violently. Edward is hurt and I'm there.

The last thing I wanted to do was go home. So why was I was sitting in Edward's car, on my way to my mom's house? I stare out the window like one of those soap opera characters. "Bella, you okay baby?" I roll my eyes and look over at Edward. He told me that I had to do this, so I told myself to. End of story. Edward controls what I do; he tells me what's right and what's wrong. I haven't smoked any cigarettes since I started living with him, and he stopped drinking as much. His eyes hold worry in them and I tap my fingers on the dashboard.

"I'm nervous." I mutter. Edward puts his hand on my thigh while he drives and I nudge it off. He ignores my rejection and keeps driving. My heart is racing. I don't want to see my mom, I want to stay in Seattle forever, and I don't want to face her, see the shame in her eyes. I've lived on streets for months. She tried to contact me but I never answered the phone. Now that she knows I'm coming, she won't take no for an answer. _Fucking Edward._

"That's normal." Edward says. I look over at him again to see he's gripping the steering wheel like it's his last life source. I motion to them, "I'm not too crazy about seeing your mom again either. I don't want to see her reaction to the fact you're living with me." I tap my foot on the floor.

"If my mom loves me, she'll understand that this is what I want and it's none of her fucking business who I live with." My nose is pointed up in the air and I feel bitchy but it's to be expected, right? Edward looks over at me. I look down at my hands.

Edward goes back to driving. "We'll get lunch after, 'kay?" Edward is acting detached. I nod and look out the window again. He's being a child and frankly I don't want to deal with that shit right now. He's gonna make me go in by myself. I know it and he knows it. I'm nervous out of my fucking mind and I start chewing on my nails.

I've always had problems doing things I just didn't want to do. Doing this is the worst thing I've ever been forced to do. I don't know if it's the fact that Edward doesn't get that I'm killing myself by doing this, or the fact that I just _don't want to see my mother again_. But it really could be either. Or a mix of the two. Or something I'm just not getting. Edward puts on the radio. I sing along to the song playing and ignore the fact that my heart is pumping out of control.

Edward joins in halfway through and before I know it I'm forgetting everything and laughing at E's pathetic singing voice. I grab his hand and try to give myself the power to walk into the house when we get there. We're barreling down the highway, and suddenly we're on my street. It's been so long. My heart flutters and I'm this close to jumping out of the car and rolling onto one of my neighbors lawns. Correction, one of my _mother's_ neighbors lawns. "Bella, you good?"

I look over at Edward and suddenly I'm crying. I don't understand why. I'm just sobbing and he's sitting there staring at me. I'm so scared to see her. "I wanna go home, Edward." I huff. Edward looks back and forth, as if he's trying to solve this imaginary problem in his head. He shakes his head and keeps driving to my mom's house. I'm wheezing by the time we pull into the driveway.

E puts the car in park and then gets out. I'm stuck. I'm stuck and Edward just walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell. I lock the door from the inside, and Edward unlocks the door from the outside. He opens my passenger seat door and I reluctantly get out. My mom opens the door and I can't breathe.

That's all I could stand before I passed out.

"Has she been taking her medicine?" is the first thing I hear in a sickeningly sweet tone. I open my eyes and see the living room of the house I used to live in. It looks the same. I hear Edward's reluctant reply,

"I've been trying to get her to take it, but she's scared she'll get sick." He taps his fingertips against the table in the dining room. My mom says something but I ignore it, "It's none of your fucking business why she won't take it. She's fine with me." Edward slams his fist down on the table and I jump a little.

"You have to take better care of her if she's going to live with you, Edward Cullen." She says with disgust written all over her lips. That gets E angry and he gets up from the table and puts his jacket on. "I want to speak to her before you leave." My mom crosses her arms across her chest and I want to gag so badly. E is getting pissed off and he's close to exploding.

"She's not asleep." He taps his foot on the ground. "Talk to her, but she's not gonna respond."

"She's my daughter." Edward rolls his eyes and I stifle giggles.

"You're nothing like a mother to her." And I do a little fist pump in my head. Go E. He's on my side, obviously. He _was_ the one who told me to go visit her though. I feel arms wrapped around me and I know that Edward has picked me up. I smile at him and peek through my lashes to see his eyes dark black.

"E." I whisper, poking him. He doesn't look down at me but puts me in the car. I lower my eyebrows. Why is he mad at me? He hops in the car and I stare at him. "E." he looks over at me this time. His eyes are red.

"E, what the fuck happened?" I stare at him with remorse in my eyes. Why did we come here anyway? He starts driving and doesn't speak to me for the whole car ride there.

I walk up the stairs to our apartment with steady steps. Edward is 5 steps behind me at all times and I start to wonder what's making him so fucking dejected. I stop halfway up the steps. I hear a low grumbled, "Fucking go," behind me. I scamper up the stairs and open the door with my key. I run into the piano room and slam the door shut, sobbing. I go over to the piano and touch one key before falling against the keys and crying even harder.

E swings the door open and follows me in. "What the _fuck_, Bella?" he grabs my hands and pulls me away from the piano. I start crying my eyes out and all of a sudden we're both on the floor sobbing. "Oh baby, oh baby." He mutters into my hair, tears sliding down his cheeks, arms wrapped around me.

"What did she say to you?" I ask once I've stopped huffing. He looks back and forth. He's trying to figure out what to say to me. Whether or not he should tone it down or tell me the whole thing from the start. He looks defeated for a second before he launches into his story.

"_I'm not letting her live with you." My mother says with anger seeping from every hole in her body. "She's my daughter. She's only 17. She's innocent."_

"_And she has more life experience than you and I combined." E interrupts. My mom brushes hair out of her face._

"_You're not having sex, are you?" Edward scoffs and shakes his head no._

"_You said she couldn't have sex until she was 18. She's 17." Edward mutters._ _My mom laughs. _

"_You're a man, as if you could help yourself when it comes to someone her age. She's at the prime of her sexuality; don't pretend you don't even think of her in that way."_

_Edward pulls on his hair, "Of course I think of her in that way, she's beautiful, I want her more than anyone else but I'm willing to wait because of this shit rule that you brought up." My mother tells him not to curse. "Bella is perfection in my eyes… I'm not saying that I don't see her that way because god dammit I do, but I'm holding myself back. I just want her to be happy." Edward taps his fingers on the table again. He's so frustrated._

_My mom stares at him like he's insane. Like she can't believe that he's not getting her message or anything. Frankly, I wouldn't have either. "I don't want her with you."_

_Edward shrugs his shoulders and tugs on his hair again, "In one month it's not up to you. You can make her live here for a month but I can tell you she's not going to want to. That's what she wants the fucking least." _

"_Stop cursing." She interjects._

"_Fine. Bella is happy with me and she's been fine with me for the last few months. She's getting food and shelter and love and warmth and that's nothing like what she got before when she left here." Edward pauses, "She was homeless for a very long time, Renee. It's not like she doesn't know what could happen if she was still out on her own. She's lived through that. She's lived through more shit that either of us can imagine. Bella is strong as hell, she fought her way through a year of living on the streets or in her car and now she's home, can't you just be happy with that?"_

_My mom is speechless at this point, "Home is not with you." She mutters, "Home is with me, home is with her father, home is with her sisters. Home is not living with a drug addict." She is flailing her arms, trying to motion to everything that she mentioned._

_Edward is close to exploding. "I'm not a drug addict. I barely even drink anymore. I'm trying to quit smoking cigarettes and Bella isn't smoking either."_

"_It's not my fault she was smoking," my mother interrupts, "If anything it was yours. She was trying to be like you and make you feel like she was the same person as you."_

"_I know her better than you." E mumbles, "She is my girlfriend, she is all I need, she did not start smoking because of me. Bella was lost and she needed fixes every so often. So she turned to smoking. Bella was afraid to contact me for the few years we were away from each other, that didn't make her start smoking." Edward is wrong on that part, I partly did start smoking because I didn't get to see him, but it wasn't so I could be the same as him._

"_Has she been taking her medicine?"_

Edward stops there. "I knew you were awake when she said that because I heard your breathing change. It's more troubled when you're asleep, but lighter when you're awake. Plus you giggled a few times."

"I could've giggled in my sleep." Edward rolls his eyes and wraps his arms around me.

"You know I really care about you, right, Bella?" I know what's coming and my heart starts racing. Is he going to tell me? He's going to tell me! I shake with excitement, and then nod. "So much that I could even say… I love you…" He looks into my eyes and my mouth goes dry.

He's so beautiful. "I love you too, E." He leans down and plants a soft kiss on my lips and I sigh. We're so unconventionally perfect together. He lifts me up and brings me into the bedroom, where he lays me down and kisses my face over and over, which is now streaked with mascara from crying. E starts crying softly and wraps his arms around me and clutches me to him. He's so pretty, I feel like screaming. I'm constantly on edge around him, like any second now I'm going to explode. E pulls the blankets over us and kisses me once more on the lips before closing his eyes and drifting off.

E is so amazing when he sleeps. His eyes flutter and he shifts, throwing his arms from one side to the other trying to find me until he does and he wraps his arms around me. That's only when we don't go to sleep at the same time, so this time when he falls asleep with his arms around me he doesn't let go. E smiles in his sleep too, and sometimes frowns so I know what type of dream he's having. This time E's lips are slightly parted and his hands are resting on my ass so he's having some type of horny dream. It's only when he starts moaning do I really appreciate the whole sex dream idea. "Mm… mm… oh…" he grunts and thrusts his hips against my upper thighs. I'm so short compared to him. "Oh Bella… oh baby…" he squeezes my ass and continuously thrusts his hips against me. I feel like stopping him, but yet again I kind of like this whole experience.

"Uhn, uhn oh god…" I can tell by now that Edward is the kind who makes a bit of noise during any type of sexual contact, instead of one of those guys who makes no sounds and just kind of grunts at the end. E is thrusting violently against me now and I can tell, though he's not actually fucking anything but air, that he's going to either come in his dream or actually come in real life. E grunts one last time and then nestles his head into my neck.

"Oh, E." I sigh and fall asleep.

"Babe?" I wake up to E repeating that over and over again. "Babe, babe, babe, babe?" I open my eyes and look up. All I see is see Edward and light. E is on top of me. I'm blinded by the lights.

"Shit, E… turn off the fucking lights." I mutter. I blink over and over until I can focus. "What do you need?"

"The dish washer. It's fucking crazy, babe." His eyes are red. Something's up.

"Were you smoking something?" Edward is gone from the room before he can answer. I bolt from the bed and go after him to find him sitting in front of the dish washer. He insisted on getting the one with the see-through door. "E, what the in the fuck are you doing?" I rub my eyes and go and sit next to him.

"Looking at the soap. It's fucking cool, Bella. Look at that shit." He touches the door and strokes his finger back and forth. Edward is high on something. My first question is where the fuck he got it.

"E, what are you high on and where did you get it? Did you have it for a long time or did you buy it this morning?" E laughs. He's gonna tell me he's not high but I know better. I know the difference between high E and normal E.

"I'm not high on anything baby. High on life, maybe." He lies back onto the hardwood floor and puts his hands behind his head. E is high as a kite. He thinks he's on a bed or a couch. "We need a new mattress."

"You're on the hardwood."

"Shit, really?" He looks back and forth at the floor and starts cracking up. "I'm in the kitchen!" He goes fucking insane at that point.

"E, I can tell that you're high. Just answer my questions. What, where and when." I'm getting pissed off and E isn't taking me seriously.

"Pot, got it down the street from here in some random alleyway and shit, and like 2 months ago." I face palm.

"E, I moved in 4 months ago." E does shit like this all the time. He does shit that he knows I'm gonna fucking hate but he still does it.

"It's my emergency pot." I roll my eyes at that crap. You shouldn't fucking have emergency weed and E knows that. "Why, do you want some, baby?" I nod my head and ask him where it is. He tells me and I grab it, and then go to the bathroom. "Bella, what the fuck are you doing?"

I dump it all out into the toilet and then flush. "Bella, what the fuck!" E yanks the door open and starts splashing his hands in the toilet. He's insane. "That was like 200 dollars worth of shit."

"No more smoking." I get up to leave Edward to splash around in the toilet. I lie down in the bed and fall asleep again. I wake up and smell pot all over the apartment. Edward bought more weed. "E…" I sigh and dash into the other room. He's passed out on the couch. "No shit…" He has the leftovers stored in his videogames drawer and I flush it down the toilet again. It's a smaller amount this time. Edward knows me. I lie down next to him and try to ignore the fact that he's gonna be so out of it when he wakes up.

"Shit…" I hear in my ear. "Holy fuck, my head." I get up from the couch and start a pot of coffee, along with setting a big glass of water and two Advil out.

"E, you're insane." He stumbles over to the table and downs the Advil and the whole glass of water.

"I'm fucking sorry. I didn't mean to do that shit. I was already slightly high. I was pissed that you threw out my shit." E goes to the drawer to probably give it to me so I can flush that, and then gives me a shocked look when it's not there.

"E, I know where you keep your drugs. I know where your porn stash is, I know where your junk food stash is, and I know where you keep that extra money. I've never taken any of the money, but I can't say that I've never taken the junk food… or the porn for that matter."

"You touched my porn?" E chuckles and wraps his arms around me from behind.

"Of course. I pay more attention to the cocks than the girly bits, but you know."

E laughs and kisses me behind my ear. "Your birthday is in a few days." I nod and E kisses my neck. I shiver, "I'm gonna make it special, Bella. I'm not just gonna take it from you."

E slips his hands down to my hips. He leans down and bites my neck and then _sprints_ to the bedroom, leaving me in my horny state. "Fuck you, E." I go after him and throw myself on the bed next to him, where he's pretending to sleep. "Fucking hell, Edward, wake up." He chuckles under his breath but otherwise it's as though he doesn't even notice I'm on the bed with him. "Jee-bus, E. Stop faking." He flips over and grabs me and starts tickling me like crazy. E knows I'm ticklish as fuck but he keeps running his hands up and down my sides. I'm laughing so hard and Edward leans his head down to my neck and starts basically making out with it.

"Mm… E you're really pissing me off, dickhead." His tongue darts out of his mouth and starts running up and down my neck. He spits violently on my neck and then gets out of the bedroom as quick as possible. "E, you _asshole_." I get up and rub his fucking spit off of my neck before running after him. "E what the fuck are you doing."

He's starting his own jacked up game of hide and seek. "Come out come out wherever you are." I mutter under my breath before heading into the recording studio. "Edward, if you come out now I'll make you a sandwich." No shock, he doesn't come out but I head into the kitchen to make him one anyway. He'll come out eventually. _Maybe I'll make an ice cream sundae or some shit too. Tempt him. Put whipped cream down my cleavage. Get naked and make a sundae out of my own body. Or just lock the door to the bedroom and make obnoxious sex noises._ I get the cold cuts out and start toasting bread. "E, you're missing out on a delicious sandwich, babe." I call into the other room. No answer. E is being an asshole. I finish the sandwich and set it out on the table. I go back into the recording studio and wander around.

"E there's a toasty hot sandwich out in the dining room with your name on it." I call again. All of a sudden two arms wrap around me from behind and I shriek. I turn around and start smacking my offender violently, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! E, you're such a massive fucker." E looks down at me and tilts my chin up before pushing his lips to mine gently. "How come I can never not forgive you?" I say softly.

"Because I'm awesome, Bella. Thought you knew that already." I roll my eyes at his idiocy and push him into the dining room. I'm not surprised to see the sandwich already gone.

"Asshole." I groan under my breath.

It's my birthday and E is "treating me" to dinner. It's technically our money, but you know, whatever. It's my birthday and he can do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm officially 18 and according to my mother I can fuck whoever I want. (Whoever I want being E.) E sets out breakfast in the morning. Eggs, pancakes and bacon. We never have that shit and when I walk out and see it I leap into his arms and smash my face to his. I smell coffee and I automatically jump out of his arms and run to the coffee machine. "Holy shit… this is that super fucking amazing coffee." I shove my face into it and I can hear E's laughter from behind me.

Later on E treats me to this really cute diner in town that I've wanted to go to. Apparently he heard that it's pretty good from his friend's girlfriend. I had this really good Ahi Tuna salad and E had a burger. E _actually_ paid for the whole thing with his song money and then kissed me in an alleyway for a few minutes afterward. The whole sense of the thing failed after a little kid walked by and saw E thrusting his denim covered crotch into my stomach and the mother yelled at us. I giggled and E chuckled and we walked back to the car. E took me bowling after that and either let me win or I have more skills than I thought. E kissed me every 5 minutes.

On the car ride home E magically gained a random erection and groaned every time I touched him. It was safe to say that he was in the bathroom for a good 2 minutes when we got home. We watched The Notebook- AKA my favorite movie in the history of ever-, even if E didn't want to and then started getting ready. E's friend's girlfriend went shopping with me a few days before for a dress because we were going to a nice place for dinner. E wore a nice jacket with a dress shirt and jeans and I wore a blue dress with my leather jacket. That was about as fancy as we both wanted to get, and it was enough for both of us.

My eyes lit up when we pulled up outside the restaurant. It was fancier that imaginable, with gargoyles and Christmas lights in November. E opened my door for me and closed it for me when I got out. When he wanted to be, Edward was a regular gentleman. I walked through the door and the air was knocked out of me. The restaurant was beautiful from the inside out. There was no way that we could afford this. I turned around to tell E that we didn't have to do this but he laughed and turned me back around. I start, "But how are we supposed to-". E cuts me off and says,

"Don't worry, Bella, I've got it taken care of." He leans down and kisses my cheek and we're brought to our table by our server. I don't know why he had to do this. I would have been happy with even Applebee's, but no, E had to go the extra mile and bring me to this shit fest. It's buffet night, which is great for us because we can't afford to pay for two giant entrees, but the buffet is a perfect price. E smiles down at me and I reach up and tousle his hair. It's all slick and not him. He reaches up after me and runs his hands through it a few times. I giggle and head over to the buffet bar. They have all this fancy food and I have no idea what half of it is.

"E, what the fuck is this?" I point to some casserole looking thing and E laughs.

"You think _I _know?" E shovels some of it onto his plate and then tastes it. "Tastes like a mix of cheese and dog shit." He sticks his finger into it again and shoves it into my mouth. "Right?"

I gag and retch and E laughs at me for a few seconds. "E that _does _tastes like shit, mother fucker." We both avoid that dish and shovel different foreign objects onto our plates. We return to the table and E looks at me for a few seconds. "You know I would have been happy with even McDonalds, right?" I play with my fingers and E rolls his eyes at me.

"It's your 18th birthday. I'm trying to make it special for you."

"But, E, no one is treated this much on their 18th birthday." M is starting to get angry at me, I can tell, so I shut up and start shoving food into my mouth.

"You're my girlfriend, I love you, and I want your 18th birthday to be one you remember. Not just because of the fuck awesome lovemaking session we're going to engage in later tonight." I choke on my food and E reaches over and pounds me on my back. "You asked for it."

I nod, "You're right." I cough a few more times and then down my whole glass of water. "You really shouldn't do that though."

E laughs and continues eating his food. We have dessert and then all of a sudden it's time to go home. I'm really nervous about tonight. What if I'm not as good as E thought? What if I'm too tight? What if he's too big? I start biting my nails and E grabs my hand to stop me from biting them anymore. We're on the street his apartment is on and I'm flipping out. "E, what if you don't fit?" E chokes on spit and I pound him on the back like he did for me.

"Bella, I'm not _that_ big." I pull on my hair a little bit.

"Do you remember that time we experimented? When you tried to fit a finger inside of me?" E's eyes cloud over and I smack his arm to get him out of his pussy induced fantasy. "You couldn't fit your _finger_ in, E. And when you finally did I screamed and when you pulled it out of me I was bleeding." E bites his lip and grabs my hand.

"I don't care if it takes all night and a whole thing of lube. I will get my cock inside of you." E nods and jumps out of the car. I'm panicking now. E isn't going to take no for an answer. He's gonna try to shove his meat stick into me and I'm going to bleed like a faucet bleeds water. I'm not even making sense now. E opens the car door for me and leads me up the stairs to his apartment.

"E, if you kill me it's your fault." I'm visibly shaking now.

"Bella. It's just sex. People have it all the time." E grabs my arm and smashes his lips onto mine. "I'm gonna be as gentle as possible." We're outside of the apartment. E opens the door to view a place that doesn't look like E's apartment. It looks like someone threw up flower petals and candles and kind of swept them around. E eyes glow and E leans down to kiss my lips again. "Welcome to your paradise, baby."

E basically sweeps me off my feet and rushes me into the bedroom onto a bed of… well… roses. I giggle as he traces kisses up and down my arms. "E, you are eventually going to actually make love to me, right?" E looks up at me and smiles.

"Eventually, yes. By the end of the night."

"E, the end of the night for us is usually like 4 AM." I roll my eyes.

"My sentiments exactly, Watson." I kick E in the knee.

"You're an idiot." E kisses me again and again until I can't take any more of it. "E, can we at least take our clothes off or something?" E nods and starts unbuttoning his shirt. I get up quickly and start unbuttoning it for him. E looks down at me with a look that can only mean 'you know there's no fucking way you're going to get the buttons undone,' so I nod and let him keep unbuttoning. Once E's shirt is off he leans down to me and unzips my dress from the back. He pulls it over my shoulders and down over my hips, until it's all the way off and he throws it on the floor. "That's a fucking nice dress, E." I reprimand him lightly. E chuckles real dark like and leans down and bites on my lip.

"Now I see why you do that all the time. Your lips are motherfucking delicious." I moan lightly against his mouth and E laughs. "You're god damn horny." I look at him with a 'fuck you, get your hands on me now' look and of course, E is always one to do what a woman tells him to… most of the time. E reaches around my back and skillfully unsnaps my bra. That worries me a little bit, but I don't let it get to me for long. I'm in bed with the man I love and that's all that matters. Then E lowers his mouth to my tits and all that love shit flies out the window.

He's fucking tugging on my nipples with his teeth and I'm clawing at his hair and mewling like a little kitten. E has a fucking amazing mouth, whether it's kissing my lips, my breasts, or my other set of lips, those ones way down low. I've yet to have him kiss the latter, though. E sucks hard on my peaks and I'm losing it, bucking against him and crying out every time he bites down. I, even as a teenager- though I was a teenager yesterday-, always thought I might like it rough and if I can't even have E bite my nipples without thrusting against him, I can't help but think how I might react if he tied me down to the bed and fucked me doggy-style. E pulls his mouth away from my tits and mutters a low, "Perfection…" I mewl a little and E chuckles at me, "You know, Bella, if your tits taste that amazing I can't wait to taste that sweet pussy." You know, there are things that get your horses running. Like celebrity sex scenes in the movies, and PDA, but that topped it off. E saying the P word had me flowing like a waterfall. My mouth dropped down to my chest and I started stammering. He places his hand over my mouth and mumbles, "Be quiet, I only want to hear your moans when I do this." E crawls down the bed and hitches my legs up. He's gonna do it… he's gonna do it?

E pulls my panties down my legs to see my hairless cooter. "Fuck, Bella. Did you wax?" My eyes cloud over for a second and think back to when I got the wax.

_ It was about a week ago, and I was out having a 'spa day' with E's best friend's girlfriend. I wasn't looking_ _forward to any of this primping and pampering as after a year living on the streets, I didn't really care for the fancy life or anybody but myself taking care of me. I stepped into the spa feeling like shit. I didn't want to get mud lathered on my face, I didn't want to have my hair styled, but according to Jessica, this was the thing to do. Jess looked over at me as we were lounging in the mud bath things. My cheeks were stained red after a few gay men and two women got me naked and shoved me into a vat of mud. I felt like a pig. What type of girl would want to do this? "How are you not enjoying this?" she asked with a curious look on her face._

_ "I'm just not into the whole pampering thing. I like taking care of myself." Jessica scoffs and rolls her eyes at me._

_ "What girl doesn't like to be pampered?" she pauses, "Does Edward not take care of you like he should?"_

_ "Of course E takes care of me!" I pause too, "I mean, as much as I need him to! I don't need him to do laundry, or bathe me or feed me dinner every night." I click my finger nails against the tile next to the bath. "E is perfect. He's dysfunctional though, and when I first walked into his apartment it was a pig sty." I look at the mud around me, "Kind of like these tubs. But now it's clean…er… and E is happy."_

_ Jessica pushes her hair away from her face, "Why do you call him E instead of Edward?"_

_ I bite my lip, "Um, I just think of him as E. I call him Edward sometimes, but he's E to me." I push my hair out of my face too. Later on I get out of the tub for my 'final primping' as Jess called it. I'm pushed into a dark room where they pour wax on my crotch._

_ "This is gonna pinch a bit." They said. Pinch? And _a bit_? It hurt like someone was stabbing me in the chest. And they kept pulling and pulling until it finally came off instead of ripping it all off. "Sometimes it all doesn't come off in one go." I lost my voice for the next few days and I had to lie to E and tell him that I was hoarse because of laughing so much with Jessica._

"So _that's_ why you couldn't talk those few days." He runs his hand over my pussy and I moan and buck my hips. "You know, you could have just told me." He takes another look at my muff and then shrugs, "Though I do like surprises." Apparently he likes giving them too, because then he leans down and runs his tongue up my slit, pushing deep in and then pulling out and sweeping over my clit. My mind keeps going back to the people he's done this to, but then I forget and concentrate on the fact that this sex god is between my legs pushing his tongue inside me. E is now fiercely tongue fucking my hooch like nobody's business, and I start screaming and bucking my hips against his face. "Christ, you're so wet."

My response to that is a mix of, "Mmph", "Oh god", "Oh E, oh E", "Oh yes" and "Fuck"; or a mixture of all five. I can feel E's tell-tale smirk against my clit as I get closer and closer and that's basically what sends me over the edge, the fact that I can tell that it's E between my legs because of his smirk. Plus he's being an ass by smirking against my fucking vag, and when E is a dick, I get horny. It's the circle of life, and what will probably make our babies in the future. Once again getting ahead of myself… _if_ we have babies, for that matter.

I see white light everywhere and scream out and buck against E's face, possible giving a black eye with my pelvis in the meantime. E chuckles against my clit and I cum violently… _again_.

"Jeez, Bella. The weirdest shit makes you cum." He looks up at me between my legs and I swear I'm about to fucking do it again before he climbs back on top of me. I try to turn him over so I can suck him off but he resists, "Bella, we can do that a different time. It's your night. Plus I don't want to cum before I'm deep in that pussy." I shake and my stomach clenches. E makes me god damn insane.

I get up to take E's undershirt off and he smiles at me as I kiss both of his nipples and lick a trail down to his V. That V of all wonders… the V that's going to lead me to my surprise center. I've never actually seen E's dick up close or bare. I've felt his erection though, and I know that he's huge, even if I haven't seen him. E lies down against the pillows and petals and I unbutton and unzip him slowly, trying to make the most of this moment. I pull down E's pants, expecting to see some type of undergarment, but surprise, surprise. There's E's cock, in all of its hardened glory.

There're only three thoughts running through my mind at this point.

It's god damn huge.

He goes COMMANDO.

How is it going to fit inside of me? How?

I just stare at him for a second before running a finger from his tip to his ass. E shivers and so do I. He's maybe a good 8 or 9 inches and he's dripping with precum. I kiss his tip. E's hips buck into the air and his dick twitches. "Jesus, Bella. Don't fucking do that I'm gonna cum before I'm even in you." E strokes his cock lazily with one hand, probably trying to keep stamina. I flip over onto the bed and E looks me over once. "You're sure about this?"

"E, of course I am." I look over at him and he's beautiful. E leans down to my lips and kisses me before rolling a condom on and crawling on top of me. E is so beautiful. E is going to be inside of me. E is taking my virginity. E, E, E. He lines himself up with my slit and gets ready to put his tip inside of me. He looks up at me and I nod quickly. Inside, my nerves are on a rampage, but outside I'm trying to stay calm. I want this, E wants this. I've never wanted anything more. I love E, E loves me. Oh god, oh god, oh god. E pushes his head slightly in and I go stiff.

"Bella, I can't… get in… if you don't," he groans, "Relax a little bit." I tilt his head up and stare into his eyes, trying my hardest to relax… E pushes in a bit more and I stiffen again. "Bella. Please, god, you're driving me insane. When you clench like that you pulse, and then when you pulse I get closer to cumming, and I don't wanna fucking do that until I'm inside you." I close my eyes and think about life with E when we're older. E pushes in a bit more. I'm still relaxed. I think about living in a blue house with a white picket fence we wrote on in sharpie, and we'll both have tattoos and I'll finally get my Monroe piercing. E hits my barrier and I bite down on my lip.

"I have to do this… I'm so sorry baby." I nod really hard and E pulls back and pushes all the way in. My eyes fly open and I screech a little bit. E leans down and tries to kiss every inch of my face. Tears start rolling down my cheeks, and E groans, leaning his head against my shoulder. "I'm so fucking sorry. I hate hurting you. Please tell me it didn't hurt that much."

I bite my lip. I try to open my mouth to say something but all that comes out is a whimper like moan. E grunts and wraps his arms around me. "So sorry, so sorry." E is crying now. E hasn't cried in a long time and I know that something is really wrong.

I bring E's head up, "What are you freaking out about, baby?" my voice is hoarse but E ignores it and tells me what he's freaking out about.

"I lost my virginity to a girl named Lauren. She was tight and I was scared and she cried and bled and kicked me in the balls. She told everyone I raped her…" E pauses, "That's what I was talking about all those years back." My mouth forms an O and E leans his head back down into my shoulder.

"You can keep moving, you know." E tilts his head up and lifts an eyebrow. I reach down and grasp his ass and start moving his hips for him. "It doesn't feel as bad anymore." I let out a moan that I don't really mean and E takes that as his cue to start moving again. E starts thrusting slowly, still gently testing the waters of my cooter, and then eventually gains his confidence and goes faster.

It's at that point that I start actually feeling pleasure. I let out a moan I really mean this time and squeak each time E thrusts harder than before. "Oh god, oh E, yes, yes, yes, fuck me." E stops and I groan. "What?"

"Fucking? Is that what this is?" He looks down at me with hurt in his eyes, I'm confused. "I thought we were…" E reaches his hand behind his head, "I thought we were making love." My mouth makes another O.

"Oh, oh baby, of course we're making love." I look up at him and smile. "I'm having a good time… I'm not really in control of what I say, E." I blush red and E chuckles.

"Sorry, Bella." I nod and E starts moving his hips again. I begin on a chorus of, 'fuck' for a while, and E starts grunting, so I know he's about to bring it on home.

The problem with this is that I am not even close to having an orgasm. E reaches a hand down between us and starts rubbing my clit violently. He doesn't know that that part of my body is sensitive as fuck right now and it kind of hurts that he's rubbing so hard. "E… E that hurts… stop." His eyes get wide and he takes his hand away from my clit, still pumping his hips. "Just… a bit faster… harder, E." E thrusts faster and harder. He's waiting for me to cum. His face is so intense. He's trying to hard but I can feel him pulsing inside of me.

"God… fuck… Bella… cum now. Please god, cum now. Fuck I'm gonna…" E's face transforms into this beautiful mask I've never seen before. He's so beautiful. So beautiful. He grunts loud and cums hard inside of the condom. I sigh and E rocks back and forth, riding out his orgasm. I run my hand through his hair and close my eyes. Then I hear the words. "You didn't cum."

I reach my hand up to my head and grasp my hair. "Shit, I'm really sorry… I just… I mean… I did have an orgasm… twice actually… before, remember?" E shakes his head.

"Why didn't you cum when I made love to you?" E looks frustrated. I shrug my shoulders,

"I mean, it was my first time, E. Nobody cums their first time…" E rolls over off of me and closes his eyes. "E, don't be that way. Come on, E." He ignores me and eventually I hear him snoring. E is being a child, and I don't mind. It's not my fault I didn't cum. I just couldn't. The pain was too much. I ignore his distance and fall asleep too.

**A/N- Phew. Well, this is the first chapter, and I'm happy to say that I like what I wrote. It was also, unfortunately my first virgin lemon, and wasn't completely sure what would happen if I actually got in there and said that Bel was a virgin, because I too am a virgin, and I have more experience reading non-virgin fanfic. So, I did my research and tried. Give me your criticism. Give me your love. Give me your hate. Just review, m'kay, loverlies? Hope you had a good time reading and there should be a new chapter up in at most a week or so.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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